var intros = new Array();
intros[0] = "Why, hello, ";
intros[1] = "Hey there, ";
intros[2] = "How's it going, ";
intros[3] = "Pleased to meet you, ";

var slurs = new Array();
slurs[0] = new Array("Hebe","gefilthy fish","Goldberg","gefilthy fish");
slurs[1] = new Array("golliwog","Ebonezer","Ebonezer","Colin Powell");
slurs[2] = new Array("turban cowboy","camel jockey","falafel","Osama");
slurs[3] = new Array("honkie","cracker","yakoo","Donny Osmond");
slurs[4] = new Array("sugar tits","twunt","ho bag","crone");
slurs[5] = new Array("7-11","AOL tech support guy","Apu","AOL tech support guy");
slurs[6] = new Array("crumb bum","brokey","brokey","mendicant");
slurs[7] = new Array("Rice a Roni","weezy tong nambler","rickshaw","Old Yeller");
slurs[8] = new Array("chalupa","Juan Valdez","Titicaca","cucaracha");
slurs[9] = new Array("gaylord","munge fuddler","suckacaca","fairy");
slurs[10] = new Array("Mr. Potato Head","McCaca","Dumbliner","muck savage");
slurs[11] = new Array("snail face","frogger","Monsieur Caca","Monsieur Caca");
slurs[12] = new Array("half-pint","Oompa Loompa","Tom Thumb","cockroach");
slurs[13] = new Array("sticker licker","mailbag","philateloser","philateloser");
slurs[14] = new Array("nerd","nerd","nerd","nerd");
slurs[15] = new Array("thumb warrior","half-orc","n00b","n00b");
slurs[16] = new Array(" "," "," "," ");
slurs[17] = new Array("Redskin","Tonto","Chief Wahoo","Chief Wahoo");
slurs[18] = new Array("Mountie-caca","frostback","snow Mexican","hoser");
slurs[19] = new Array("Binaca","Binaca","Binaca","Binaca");
slurs[20] = new Array("wheatard","wheatard","wheatard","wheatard");
slurs[21] = new Array("moonbat","pinko","Dukaka","Dukaka");
slurs[22] = new Array("Grimace","Michelin Man","butter ball","puddloflaj");
slurs[23] = new Array("Andy Rooney","prune pants","osteoporo sissy","osteoporo sissy");
slurs[24] = new Array("chrome dome","cueball","scalp head","scalp head");
slurs[25] = new Array("macaca","macaca","macaca","macaca");

function runApology(option, randNum) {
	var randomized2 = Math.floor(Math.random()*16);
	switch(randomized2) {
		case 0: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>You don't understand. My grandfather was part " + slurs[option][randNum] + ".</span>"; break;
		case 1: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>It's time for me to be honest with the American people. One of my best friends is half " + slurs[option][randNum] + ".</span>"; break;
		case 2: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Here's the straight dope. I didn't see a single " + slurs[option][randNum] + " in the audience, so I thought it was OK.</span>"; break;
		case 3: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Give me a break, I played football with " + slurs[option][randNum] + " after " + slurs[option][randNum] + ".</span>"; break;
		case 4: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Don't believe what you read, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". I was referring to your haircut.</span>"; break;
		case 5: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>I'm going to put this plainly, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". I love Hebrew National hot dogs.</span>"; break;
		case 6: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>I must confess, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". That saying is part of my Southern heritage.</span>"; break;
		case 7: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Please believe me, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". I didn't mean it that way.</span>"; break;
		case 8: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Listen carefully, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". That word means \"brave warrior\" in Tagalog.</span>"; break;
		case 9: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>I'll give it to you straight, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". I had low blood sugar.</span>"; break;
		case 10: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>I'm going to be candid with you, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". My opponent Jim Webb taught me that word.</span>"; break;
		case 11: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Forgive me. You didn't look like a real " + slurs[option][randNum] + ".</span>"; break;
		case 12: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Let me be frank, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". My remarks were taken out of context.</span>"; break;
		case 13: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Pay attention, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". I won't engage in the politics of personal destruction.</span>"; break;
		case 14: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Here's the real story, " + slurs[option][randNum] + ". I didn't realize my microphone was on.</span>"; break;
		case 15: document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<span style='font:bold 12px Arial'>Are you claiming I said " + slurs[option][randNum] + "? That is not part of my vocabulary.</span>"; break;
	}
	document.getElementById("allen_left").src = "http://img.slate.com/features/allen_insults/apology_left.jpg";
	document.getElementById("allen_bottom").innerHTML = "<a onclick='javascript:window.location.reload(false);'><img src='http://img.slate.com/features/allen_insults/apology_bottom_again.jpg'/></a>";
}

function resetPage() {
	document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<strong>Hello, I'm Sen. George Allen. Who are you?</strong>";
	document.getElementById("allen_left").src = "http://img.slate.com/features/allen_insults/insult_left.jpg";
	document.getElementById("allen_bottom").innerHTML = "<img src='http://img.slate.com/features/allen_insults/apology_bottom.jpg' />";
}

function runSlur(ethnic) {
	document.getElementById("allen_left").src = "http://img.slate.com/features/allen_insults/insult_left.jpg";
	var option = parseInt(ethnic);
	var randomized = Math.floor(Math.random()*4);
	var randomized3 = Math.floor(Math.random()*4);
	document.getElementById("quotation").innerHTML = "<strong>" + intros[randomized3] + slurs[option][randomized] + "!</strong>";
	document.getElementById("allen_bottom").innerHTML = "<a onclick='runApology(" + option + "," + randomized + ")'><img src='http://img.slate.com/features/allen_insults/apology_bottom_explain.jpg'/></a>";
}