How To Watch the Winter Olympics

Seth,

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Midori Ito was nicknamed the "Japanese Jumping Bean." I totally win.

Johnny WeirAs for Johnny Weir, I can't wait to see him in action tonight. He's made multiple drug references in the past—Weir recently called a competitor's short program "a vodka shot, let's snort coke kind of thing"—and U.S. Figure Skating has asked him to tone it down. Sounds like the kind of talking-to that boringifies the whole Olympic Games. At least we'll still have his costume: He's skating to a piece called "The Swan" and wears a single orange glove that's supposed to look like a beak.

Off to go carve "JT + JC" in a tree trunk somewhere …

Happy viewing,
Julia

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